KEEPING ABOVE WATER WHEN EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IS CHANGING
Is 2019 going well for you? For me it is by far my worst year to date since, say, 2016. I have hated this year so much that I am ready to be done with it. On all possible levels.
2019 has SHOWN me on a deeply personal level how people are not who you think they are, how people you love and trust can show you something incredibly different if they choose to. 2019 has also showed me my own strength. There were moments where I never thought I would recover from experiencing pain, loss, disconnect, but, my God & my spirit somehow said, “this isn’t it Sis”. As much as recovery is still an ongoing process, it is STILL not over. Some days are better than others.
2019 showed me change…
This year has been the season of change for my life. Work has been the most stressful as it has ever been, it doesn’t stop, its a daily fight and wow I need God here… but we continue to push word. The mental and physical exhaustion your work can give you, is one I never thought I would go through. This is a fact. I mean, I’m at that point where I’m even DREAMING about my work now. It’s ALL I ever think about and have time for.
The beginning of this year, started off with me living in a different place to the one I am living in now. If you follow my YT channel you will know this. I’m FEB/March i moved back to the previous place, and again, the strain that took on me mentally and physically- I cant even.
My private life was rocked to its CORE this year. I have never in my life felt so disconnected, bruised, weak and helpless in my whole entire life. My personal life was rocked, and so was a friendship. Look, a mess I tell you!
WHAT I LEARNT, or RATHER, AM CONTINUING TO LEARN
Naturally, when things start changing, the instinct is to try and stay afloat and keep it moving- rather than sink into the pit of your own thoughts and problems. This is ME. I am this person who tries to keep it moving instead of sink. The only problem is, and I discovered this in a very emotional, river of tears conversation I had with one of my good friends Pru recently, that- I struggle to DEAL with things. I avoid them. Shove them under the carpet, and promise to deal with it later. I forget, that to be able to heal, and get through something, often involves going THROUGH it. Live it. Let it be the focal point of your life so that you can completely move forward, and in some cases, HEAL from it.
“To heal, you must DEAL”.
After reading so many Psychology articles, speaking to a therapist, getting different opinions from good friends, family I realized that I need to slightly shift the way I think and the way my life is going AT the moment, to accommodate ALL this change. Essentially, I needed to alter the “normal way of doing things” to get a different perspective so I can stay afloat. This is SO much easier said than done, and I realize that now because I’m STILL going through these motions. Urg. Annoying.
Nevertheless, this is what I seem to be doing that is helping, somewhat.
TAKE TIME OFF.
The problem is, with the desire to “stay afloat” we always want to keep going, and never give ourselves the opportunity to just be still. Stillness is key to shifting the thought process. Thinking about things differently and altering how you would normally do things, to learning about new approaches. This, for me, meant, take some time off. Go on a short trip, stay away from social media (which is hard for me, given, YT, Instagram and always trying to create new content). I always want to be on the ball, moving constantly. This doesn’t help when your shoulders already feel like they are carrying too much. Digital detoxes are important. Moments of rest, are important. Re connecting with yourself, for yourself, BY yourself is EXTREMELY important. Do this.
AVOID MAKING IMPORTANT DECISIONS WHEN THINGS ARE CHANGING
If you know that there are so many things happening at once in your life, avoid making decisions that will further compromise the quality of your life. For example: if you have tons of bills to pay, avoid signing up for a new credit card, buying a house, car or even just making unnecessary purchases that wont be beneficial to you in the long run. When your heart is broken, avoid making rash decisions when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s ok to not be ok. Live in that, for now. Do not try to decide instantly, because the long term effects may not be to your liking, or even be beneficial to your long term growth. So, if you are not PRESSED to make hasty decisions, then don’t. Deal with all of it slowly, at the right pace.
When going through many things at once, compartmentalize these “stresses” into groups. What needs to be dealt with NOW. What needs to be dealt with LATER. Then take everything in the NOW box, and prioritize. Which one will you address FIRST, which one SECOND, and which THIRD. Then handle all of them, one by one. Then once done with the NOW box, you can move on to the LATER box. You feel me? Give yourself time to address all of them, ONE BY ONE. Sound decisions are made when you are not having to make more than one decision at a time. It’ll help you from feeling Defeated, overworked, stressed out, exhausted.
FACE EVEN THE UNPLEASANT
Unfortunately, nothing will ever be rosy. You will have to face even the parts of you & your life that genuinely get stinky. Brace yourself. I had to make many difficult decisions regarding two people that I hold so dear to me in this past year, I felt like ripping the flesh from my skin. It was painful, hard, and to some I may not have even made the right decision. To me, its the best decision for myself, and my spirit, at the moment, so, it’ll suffice. Don’t avoid the pain, instead allow yourself to go through it, and tell yourself you with OVERCOME. You will. Suffer when you have to, and enjoy when you must. These are two very important aspects of your life that must be lived, equally.
I have so many other techniques I have learnt, however for fearing that this post will be far too long, I’ll leave it here for now.
How has your 2019 been so far? The best or the worst? Tell me, I’d love to know.
If you would like another post on more techniques, comment below and let me know 🙂
Keep pushing. Behind every dark cloud…. well, you know how it goes.
Live in Light and Love <3